Chicken Filters

Most of my spare time (that isn't taken up by my gorgeous fiance') is spent at my shop/second home up in the Olympus cove where my dear friend, Mel Gortatowski (best name ever!) has resided since August of 1955. After graduating at the University of Chicago, He loaded up the back of his brand new Oldsmobile Holiday Hardtop with all of his possessions and drove to Salt Lake City, buying a gorgeous home on an acre of land for a mere $26,000. (Kill me. My car cost more then that!) Nearly 54 years later, he is still in the same home that is filled with stories, wit, and clutter. I have been restoring his beloved 1955 Oldsmobile for 2 years now, and I have come to know very well when he's up to something. Uh oh.

Melvin: "Hello you old fart!"

Me: "Hello young man!"

Melvin is holding a 2x3ft stainless steel tray with a great big grin on his face. This can't be good.

"Have I ever told you the story of how I got this tray?"

"Not quite.....is there a story even? It's just a tray!"

"Back in 1963, There was a butcher shop down on Highland drive (*which is still there!) where my good friend John worked. Visiting him one day, I noticed this tray leaning up against the fryer, and I thought 'now that would be perfect for holding my furnace filters!' So I asked him what it's for, and he tells me it is used to catch the blood from the chickens after they have been slaughtered!"

At this point my jaw is wide open, wondering why the devil he is telling me this story. To make it worse, I was drinking fruit punch. God.

"So I ask John 'can I buy that from you?" John laughs and says '5 bucks and it's yours'. I have been using it ever since!"

Granted, the story should be over by now, as I have turned pale and slightly naseous from the chicken sandwich I had earlier that day. But no. No, there is more.

"I still wake up toasty on winter mornings thinking about the poor chickens that had to bleed on the floor instead of in this wonderful tray!" he says while gazing at the tray with wide eyes. "Now you can't tell me thats not the best tale of a furnace filter holder ever told hahahahaha"

He scurries back into the house and I stand amazed at what I just heard.

Thank you Mel. Thats is the only furnace filter story ever told. Eeeeever. And What a story it is.